Dear diary...wait err i mean...blog,
The days have pass by ever so quickly; in a blink it seems almost yesterday that I was terribly worried and terrified for the A lvl paper the next day. In a flash the A lvls were over (though it seems forever when I was working towards it), grad night just whoosh pass, bmt had their 1st intake (kudos to josh and jojo), dad went for a major operation, A lvl results and uni application and now here, sitting behind the laptop writing a weird mail to my blog...crazy fella.
Guess I really didn't get down to even touch, let alone read, my whole stack of books awaiting me on my desk, was one of my goals before I entered army. Those stack of books are apparently Christian books people gave to me and some are really nice on topics on 'rite of passage to manhood' and 'listening to the voice of God'. Well, hope I'll be able to finish them whilst serving NS, I hope.
Have you ever had this experience where you see/hear/feel one thing and somehow it brings back memories and thoughts about another thing else that you have linked that one thing to? For example, when u think of chicken soup, you think of ur mom back home in singapore. Get the jist? There's a word for it but i can't seem to get it out from my head.
So it was when I went for acjc band concert at the esplanade that sunday evening. Just to sidetrack a little, the concert was quite good, not bad actually (had to say this cos bro's playing for acjc xD...just kidding) hadn't had a rather nice concert in a while. The finale was a combine acjc, acsi and acsIB(known as acsi wind ensemble) playing a well-known piece Phantom of the Opera; how ironic as the broadway musical is ongoing simultaneously next door O.o
The overture was quite well played in my opinion though my bro was complaining there were lots of mistakes and out of tune..blah blah blah. Sounded good and solid anyway...with almost 300 people on stage covering upeach other's mistake of course it sounded good.
"Oh you thought about your saxophone!" some might say. Well not really though I really miss playing and fiddling with my saxophone, trying to play seranading tunes abeilt utter failure. Nice try but not even close. I played the saxophone btw for those who discover new things about me everyday *stares at nicole*.
Band had been a great part of my life during my acsi days, which I will love and cherish and treasure and honour till death do us ap...oops sorry out of point, and reminiscence of those days back in secondary school were brought back and relived through the concert; the bunch of dynamic classmates, the bitter rivalry with RI, the great lost in rugby to st andrews, the many 'tao pok' and birthday sabos only seen in an all boys school and not to forget the crazy number of donation drives that drives my relatives up the wall.
Yup the uniquely acsi experience. But all those are irrelevant now, what struck me then and there was the recollection of the school's vision, one that I have placed in my heart ever since I've left the school as one of the greatest goals for my life.
"Every Acsian a Scholar, an Officer and a Gentleman"
The more I think the worse I felt, the worse I felt the greater the pain, the greater the pain the more confuse I get, the more confuse I get the more I think.
Told you weird cycles start with me.
Words cannot describe the confusion I feel, looking back the past 2 years have I really acheived all these? Have I acheived as a scholar? with grades of AABB C6 for gp i can only dream of a scholarship. Looking ahead 2 years I really wonder whether I've got what it takes to be an officer? A gentleman? That's not for me to answer.
But I guess all I can do now is just sit back and see what God has install for me, to guide me in path of righteousness. Scholar Officer Gentleman?? We'll see.....
Goodnight